twenty or two thousand and?

So yeah, we’ve made it to a new year and guess what it’s not been really all that spectacular so far. First there was a stomach bug on the 2nd that left me in Kansas City, stuck in bed, with some symptoms I won’t describe. And then I woke up Monday morning in a terrible funk which I’m sure has something to do with the post-holiday blues, no days off for months and horribly cold temps. This funk is the first I’ve had in a bit and well I’ve not made it to work on time once this week (or even within an hour of on time). At least I can be thankful that I have a somewhat unimportant desk job.

So happy twenty ten.

This morning as I was begrudgingly getting ready for work I was thinking about my funk and what has triggered it, was I worrying, was I sad, anxious…you know the typical Christie fare. And then I thought I need to put these thoughts down and remembered I had a blog for this very purpose. So here I am. The first time in three months but I do want to be here.

So I narrowed down my anxious, nervous, worrisome list to the below.

1. School. Holy moly. It has been one of the funnest things I’ve done in a while but also challenging, annoying and stupid. I’m closing in ever so quickly on the end of my first “semester” and I have saved a crap load for February. I’m freaking out about the crap load but thanks to my awesome funk I have no motivation for any of it.

2. School #2. What the hell am I doing? What the hell am I going to do? It’s not all written out in a detailed plan and well that kinda pisses/freaks me out. But guess what? Nothing in life is so suck it up, right? Last night in my valerian induced sleep I was considering that I have made a horrible mistake by going to OU and that I should stop and just find a master’s anthropology program. This morning in my begruding state I was thinking about this and whether going to OU was a mistake – and guess what dawned on me – I generally think everything I do is wrong. I doubt every decision I’ve ever made, will make and didn’t make. Holy hell this was a big deal for me. I think that everything I do is wrong. How bad can that eff someone up?  So yeah, I’m going to a counselor soon.

3. I can’t stop eating sugary things.

4. Kick-off of operation “Get Out of OKC” is growing nearer and nearer. And well, just the thought of it makes me a little panicky. Funny thing though – I’m pretty sure operation “Move Across the Street” might freak me out equally as much. I’ve got nothing more to say on this item…this week is not the week to deal with it.

5. My job. A good job. Nice people. But I’ve reached my two year mark which means a serious case of boredom and restlessness. And my bosses never cease to amaze me. Never. Ever. But #4 will keep me hanging on. (Brief 80’s song tangent) “get out of my life why don’t you babe…you just keep me hanging on.”

Wow five items isn’t horribly bad. I can deal with those. Surely. Thanks blog for listening. And for not shutting down for lack of attention. I must sleep now…trying to get within that hour tomorrow.

So what’s a girl to do?

I know blog, right?

Yeah, it’s 6:10 am and I’m about to write a blog. I’ve already done a little yoga. Have made coffee and heated up some sweet potato muffins (an adventurous yet somewhat dry twist from another recipe). I’m having one of those weeks where you wake up at 5:30 am thinking about something that has to be done or is on the horizon. In this particular case it’s my annual review which requires me to fill out a self-evaluation form. And I think I was filling this form out in half asleep mode.

I literally had a WTF moment in bed. Really this is what you’re doing instead of sleeping?

For the last six months or so I’ve really been monitoring and taking note of things happening over the course of a month – this is mostly tied to my endo and how my periods have totally gone bonkers. But it has also helped me pinpoint in on “the bat ass crazy week.” My guess is that it’s just classic PMS type stuff but in some ways seems like I’m going crazy. I don’t sleep well. I wake up at random times. I’m cranky. And mean. A little depressed. Hungry. Apathetic. And sleepy since I’m not sleeping. All the while, dreading the impending question mark of a period.

But for some reason now that I’ve started “tracking” it and know how it fits in the cycle -I’m not really buying into the drama. Instead I just find myself telling myself to hold on for a few days…all will be well.

This coping mechanism I developed as of late is working for me, I think. I’m so going to have a melt down today after writing this.

It’s 7 minutes until my normal “wake up” time which really just means that’s when I hit snooze.

I’ve got a proposal due (that my boss waited till the last minute to pursue), that stupid evaluation form, a stink load of homework that I’ve been avoiding –  but on the flip side there’s an extended weekend with some quiet time waiting for me.

My yoga friend Sara would be proud.

Yoga…could change my life.

Went to a yoga wall class tonight. Ahhhh sweet lovely yoga wall. Where have you been all my life?

A tidbit or two.

This studying business (ie. reading about ancient pottery and tools this week) has seriously cut into my blog reading business but here a few interesting bits of info.

Caught “No Impact Man” at OKCMOA last weekend. Really enjoyed it. Still pondering the changes that I need to make.

I’m also very much enjoying the No Impact Man blog.

I think this art is just lovely.

Despite my constant whining about grammar and business and well just my overall downer disposition I am reallly digging school. I’m a being forced to use my mind in new ways (or at least ways that haven’t been utilized in quite sometime) and it’s like a constant wow moment for me. Anyway I saw this quote earlier this week and it resonated with me.

Watch yourself. Every minute we change. It is a great opportunity. At any point, we can step out of our frozen selves and our ideas and begin fresh. –Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down The Bones

Quote stolen from here.

Happy Wednesday friends.

I’m telling you…it’s the little things.

I’ve been doing this local food stuff for awhile now. For years actually. Back before all those crazy documentaries that scare me and everyone else (but who all continue to eat McDonald’s) became popular. I like to blame my grandparents. I was lucky enough to grow up digging potatoes, picking corn and promptly heating it up in the microwave, and appreciating (and loving like no other) a fresh scrambled egg. Yum. Anyway, I think as an adult when I realized I could have a little bit of that in my life I grabbed a hold of it. In some ways it’s a health thing, but in a lot of ways it’s holding onto a way of thinking and a part of my life.

And we’ve been rather off an on for years – me and local food. Between money and accessibility it’s been rough. But the last couple of years have changed everything and tonight I totally stepped it up a notch.

You also have begun to see a baking frenzy take over my life. Baking has recently become my stress go to. Need a break from everything – work, Eddie, life – go bake something, anything. Bread, cookies, cakes, muffins, nobody bothers me there. Ahhh. It’s like a piece of serenity for me plus there’s always a tangible item at the end. For some reason a sex analogy popped in my head and generally that’s applicable here.

I digress.

Well lately I’ve been so happy because I’ve found some local apples at the farmer’s market. You see I have this love/hate relationship with apples. Gala and Fuji are my favs. All others blah. Granny Smith, eek. And apples are one of the no-no’s of non-organic eating. They keep, maintain pesticide residue like no other. So I’m always looking for these two particular type of apples in organic form. Which has been pretty frustrating lately especially when I’m trying to only buy food grown in North America. Eating apples from New Zealand just seems bad for soooo many reasons but mostly because they’ve traveled for a LOT of days to get here and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be cheated on taste.

So when I found local apples, I just about peed myself. Granted I’m not sure if they or organic but they are ugly as sin which makes me think their defense system is pretty week.

Wow. This has gone on a long time. Sorry. And I promise I’m not trying to convert you or make you feel bad because it’s hard and costly and sometimes just not worth the time and not for everyone. Back to my point – because I do have grammar to tend to. So I have these apples and I’ve considered making applesauce but there’s cooking and sugar and well it just seemed like a bunch of work among the grammar. And I’ve been pondering baking something with them – a muffin or something but I couldn’t find any recipes that I liked so I was thinking about a stand-by. And it required applesauce. And then I had the idea why don’t you just blend up some apples…you dummy.

And I did. And I threw it in the muffins. And I substituted some yogurt for buttermilk. And halfway through the recipe it dawned on me. I’ve become a decent, free-thinking baker. Holy crap. I just substituted and didn’t even think about it.

Not to mention that about half of this recipe was made using local foods. All local and grown by lovely folks just doing what they love. And for some reason this whole thing just made me giddy.

So this is the recipe I’ve been using from Joy the Baker. And it’s a good stand-by if your a breakfast traveler like I am.

1 1/4 cups whole wheat flour *
1 1/4 cups oats
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 cup unsweetened applesauce *
1/2 cup low-fat buttermilk (used fat free yogurt) *
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
2 tbsp canola oil (I used the almond oil I had on hand)
1 large egg, lightly beaten *
3/4 cup blueberries (fresh or frozen) *

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Line a 12 cup muffin tin with paper cases or spray with nonstick cooking spray. I simple greased and floured a muffin pan, saving the paper.

In a large bowl combine flour, oats, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. In a medium bowl combine applesauce, buttermilk, sugar, oil and egg. Make a well in dry ingredients and add applesauce mixture. Stir until just moist. Fold in blueberries. Fill muffin cups 2/3 full.

Bake for 16-18 minutes.

So yeah. Sorry for the giddy rambling. I promise it will be gone tomorrow.

P.S. I would like to add that I continue to hate to cook “real” food and am considering using the Crockpot as my new cooking method of choice.

Where does it all go?

My time. It just goes so quick.

And I clearly lied yesterday because I’m freaking out today. Not because I can’t do everything that I need to do (I can really) but I’m just lacking some serious time and energy. By the time I wrap up my day and I have time to do tackle homework…I’m so tired.

Today I almost fell asleep at 4pm.

Deep breaths. Focus on what you can do.

I want a cupcake. And a maid. And to function on three less hours asleep.

5 count in, 8 count out.

Let’s talk about grammar.

Apparently since I’m going to be writing a lot in this grad program I need to re-learn proper grammar. Geez Louise how did I ever get anywhere in my life barely being able to identify the subject and verb in complicated sentences.

And I’m thinking I need to hire a bi-monthly house cleaner. Between two students in the house, two full-time jobs, a dog, and regular yoga – I think my house is going to get more out of control than normal. So I’m trying to justify in my mind a little house cleaning expense. It would so be worth it. So. Worth. It.

I’m still holding onto the diet train. Some days I’m awesome. Some days I suck. Such as life.

Work is okay. Homework is good and I’m only occasionally freaking out.

I’ve quickly become addicted to Ghost Hunters and I wish people would shut up about football.

That’s it friends, I have grammar to attend to and I feel a baking exercise coming on. I’ve got some local apples that are begging to be used in a tasty muffin.

Only 643 calories.

That’s how many calories are in 1/4 cup of the cake decorating frosting I’ve been snacking on for three weeks now. Here’s a little something to ponder…each cake has used approximately 4-5 cups. Just do the math.

Anyway the class is over and I’m pretty happy about it. While it was fun it was also pretty time consuming. Baking whipping frosting piping. It was hard work. Maybe when I have some time I’ll venture on to course 2. In the meantime I have other courses to keep me occupied.

Speaking of I’ve been reading about Linguistic Anthropology tonight…pretty fascinating stuff. I’m still looking for my school groove but I think when I find it it’s going be pretty awesome.

Who is this blogger with such a positive attitude?

Have you ever…

…just googled a medication? Last fall I was given a prescription by my doctor for some allergy stuff. And well today that fall allergy business is back with a fervor. So I went looking for said prescription and I found a suspect which I googled – just to make sure. Anyway, found this interesting…

Fexofenadine (Allegra, Telfast, Fastofen, Tilfur) is an antihistamine drug used in the treatment of hayfever and similar allergy symptoms. It was developed as a successor of and alternative to terfenadine (brand names include Triludan and Seldane), an antihistamine with potentially serious contraindications. Fexofenadine, like other second and third-generation antihistamines, does not readily cross the blood-brain barrier, and so causes less drowsiness than first-generation histamine-receptor antagonists.

The bolded section is my favorite. It all makes sense now why I get what I like to call the “detached head syndrome” when I take allergy meds it’s the blood-brain barrier. Do I even want to know?

I also enjoyed…Reports of fexofenadine overdose are infrequent, and because of this, the effects are not well established. No deaths occurred in testing on mice, at 5000 mg/kg, which is 110 times the maximum recommended dose for an adult human. Further research shows no deaths in rats at the same concentration, which equates four hundred times the recommended dose in an adult human. Research on humans ranges from a single 800 mg dose, to a twice-daily 690 mg dose for a month, with no clinically significant adverse effects, when compared to a placebo.

No deaths. All is well.

I’m just saying don’t google meds and always consult your physician before reading about prescriptions at wikipedia.com.

Wondering…

What’s up with mushrooms and their wandering path.